The Weekly Peanut, Issue 13
Well, it's been a doozy of a week.
Thursday we decided it was time to make another go at the big girl bath. Rousing success. I called and cancelled the eye operation since she was still mucusy, the eye doc asked that we take her to the ped to get checked out and we rescheduled for the coming Friday. We got to see Dr. Smith on Friday (who we like, had him for the 2 week and 1 month check ups). We put her on a round of the pink stuff to get it cleared up in time for the operation. The peanut weighed in at 17 lbs. Such a little nugget. Dropped her off at day care so I could go get some work done, then when I picked her up I got my first mother's day present.
We also had a trial day with a new semi-permanent edition to our home. A former student got a job offer that wouldn't allow her to take her dog along, so she asked if we would mind taking him on indefinitely (maybe a few months... maybe forever). His name is Jackson, and he is a ginger.
Sunday was my first official mother's day! We started the day with a special card from D and a special present that nobody who is not a Trekkie will think is awesome.
The hubby and I had discussed different ways to spend mother's day, but in the end we decided that as a joint mother's/father's day venture, we would pop for Sea World fun passes for the rest of the year. I imagined Daphne would enjoy Sea World based on her enjoyment of the fish tanks at the doctor's office, but it was nothing compared to the reality.
We went straight to my favorite spot, the Sting Ray touch tank. Daphne reached over the side and splashed and even touched a couple between giggles and squeals. The real winner of the day turned out to be Turtle Trek. First we walked by the manatee and turtle tanks (SHE LOVED!!), then we went into this big omnimax dome to watch a 3-D turtle life cycle. Daphne was awesome through it! She didn't wear the glasses, but she loved looking all over the place at all the different stuff on the screen. We saw lots of other fun critters. Daphne refused to nap. By the time we'd taken a lap of the park we'd been there around 4 hours and Daphne was about done. She fell asleep before we were out of the parking lot. (The Joovy Groove was great! Really put it through its paces this time, using the cup holders and pouches, LOVED it). So yeah, Mother's Day was pretty frickin' sweet.
Monday.... ugh... Monday was not. I wasn't even going to share this story for fear of scaring the grandparents unnecessarily, but after the rest of the story unfolded I changed my mind. So here goes. I will cop to being a bit OCD when it comes to my morning rituals, HOWEVER having a set order to getting stuff done is essential when I have a fixed amount of time to accomplish everything I need to do in order to get myself and the kid out the door in time for me to get to work. I had reached the final step of the morning (Ian was already gone, busy busy all week), having just loaded the car, I was coming back to grab D and get her changed and dressed and out the door. I picked her up and started walking towards the changing table and I felt myself stumble. I took a couple of steps trying to correct myself, but it's amazing how clearly my brain was working. I saw that I wasn't going to right myself, and that my options were slamming myself and my child into the wall, potentially the corner, if I kept stumbling, or I could take the fall on a spin and make sure I took all the impact. I chose option 2. I spun so I could land fully on my right side (always carry D on my left) and I went down hard on the carpet right in front of my lazy boy. I watched her eyes the whole time we were going down, and she never touched the ground. I saw her eyes get big right after I "oofed" and I thought "Oh, Lord, here comes the drama." Sure enough, she immediately barked out a few sobs. I sat up quickly and repositioned us so that I could give her a hug, "Oh, Daphne, You're okay... You're..." I stopped and looked into my daughter's eyes. She was holding herself really strangely, then her eyes rolled back in her head, she went completely limp in my hands, and my heart stopped beating in my chest. Everything else stopped, but my brain, bless it, my brain still went a mile a minute. While I was yelling her name to get her to wake up I was already on the phone to 911. It probably only lasted a few seconds, she snapped out of it a little pale and crying up a storm. By the time the ambulance arrived, she'd calmed down. They checked her over, not a mark on her "There wouldn't be, she never touched the ground." Call the ped, ask them what we should do. They say go to the hospital to be safe. We go to the ER at Florida Hospital; impressively, we manage to get in and out all in just under 2 hours. The hospital's verdict is that MAYBE the force of the fall caused her brain to hit her skull and MAYBE she had a mild concussion but keep a close eye on her for the rest of the day and watch for signs of any other trauma, vomiting, etc. It's not even noon. I drive home and instantly the mom guilt comes flying at me. I broke my perfect kid. She'll never play soccer (wait, did I even want her to?) or write the great american novel. Why did I trip? Why am I such a klutz?? Why didn't I spin all the way and land on my back? Why didn't I support her neck better during the fall? Why why why why... [here is where I went a little crazy]. We spent the rest of the day together after scheduling a follow-up with our pediatrician for Tuesday morning. She was normal. Sweet. She ate, she played, she napped. I actually managed to hold myself together until after bedtime, when I let myself have a mini-breakdown with my husband. That horrifying image of my limp daughter in my arms is going to stick with me for the rest of my life.
Tuesday we went in to see Dr. Holson first thing (we like Dr. Holson, she's very shoot from the hip and she was the one that referred us to the eye doc). Dr. Holson looks at the head trauma paperwork and diagnosis from the hospital, listens to my story for a while quietly, nodding her head. She carefully looks Daphne over from head to toe, probing for any unseen injuries. "Doesn't look like she hit her head, does it?" "No, I'm pretty sure she didn't." "Now, how much did she cry before she went limp?" "Uhm... only a few seconds, just long enough for me to sit up." "Was she gasping a little or breathing weird right before?" "Maybe? I think so?" "Oh darling, I'd go a bit easier on yourself. I'd say she just had a breath-holding spell." ..................... (<-- that's me, giving the doctor a long hard stare) "I'm sorry... what?" "Well, you see, some children, particularly those that might be prone to some dramatics, [pause, give my daughter the side-eye] if they go through something that really scares them or makes them very angry, they will hold their breaths until they pass out. [my eyes get big] It's just the body's defense to keep them from doing any damage, usually only lasts a few seconds and then they are back to normal." "Oh... god... she was a little pale for about 30 seconds after she passed out..." "Yup, breath holding spell. Her head and brain are just fine. She probably just got the wind knocked out of her by the fall, got freaked out, had a spell." Amazing, how quickly my brain did a 180 from drowning in mommy guilt to self-righteous indignation. Here I am, practically super mom, falling like a damn cat to save my child, taking a serious hit to my shoulder and elbow (which are hideous and purple and scraped, I'll have you know), beating myself up over how I should have done more, and meanwhile my child IS SO MAD/SCARED AT THE FALL THAT SHE HELD HER BREATH UNTIL SHE PASSED OUT?! BECAUSE SHE IS A DRAMA QUEEN?! Hell. to. the. No. The doctor handed me the breathing spells handout and warned me not to be surprised if I see more of these in the coming years, that it's fine and not doing her any harm. Cost me 24 hours of drama and grief and as yet unknown medical bills to get medical documentation that my child is A FRICKIN DRAMA QUEEN.
This child is going to test me. I know this. Fool me once... you know the drill. Although day care says she was moody yesterday, she's been pretty great at home. She loves turning lights on and off (and helps us do so at bed time). She still only walks when she feels like it. She appears to have recovered from the cooties and will hopefully be getting her eye procedure on Friday morning. Wish us luck. Hope she doesn't get too SCARED or ANGRY in the near future... Lord give me strength....