After reliving the awesomeness of the Avengers on blu-ray this week, the hubby and I thought we'd give some of the - shall we say - less successful marvel movies another go. Perhaps we were just being too critical? First stop: Thor on our Netflix instant queue.
It did not improve on second viewing. To quote my dear friend Joey, "There are some kinda cool ice giants... but mostly it's just crap." Indeed, my friend.
Positives: Tom Hiddleston does what he can to make something that resembles an interesting character out of Loki. The character design on the ice giants and their planet is somewhat interesting.
Negatives: Oh lawd, where to start. If you're going to pull for that female viewership by casting buff manmeat in your lead role, you do not fulfill that requirement by having one 10 second shot of your leading man topless. Sorry, it was not enough for me to ignore the rest of the tripe you paraded before me. Kenneth Branagh apparently forgot to check the level on his tripod... ever. If i wanted to watch a movie where every shot is skewed for no damn reason I'd watch Battlefield Earth. Oh wait, no I won't. I am not Natalie Portman's biggest fan, but the performance she turns in here is truly vacuous. Her character in this movie is the most insulting to women since Bella in Twilight. A (supposedly) super smart astrophysicist is turned into a blithering idiot who can't form coherent words when she gets one look at Thor's hunky manshape, even though he's pretty much a blithering arrogant idiot. This movie is supposed to be Thor's origin story, but his character arc is so NOT plausible. Arrogant god comes to earth, spends a day here, falls in love with blithering idiot doctor, instantly becomes selfless self-sacrificing guy who can have his powers back. Erm, whut? How did that happen? Asgard also looks a lot like the fictional land created for RuPaul's DragU: cheesy gold and rainbow everywhere. I kept waiting for a unicorn shitting jelly beans to fly across the screen.
This movie is graded: fucking awful